Bipolar. . .

Is it possible to love and hate what you do at the same time? I think it is. . . when you are working with Bipolar youth at least. I don't talk about my job much, for a lot of reasons. One reason is that I am just so used to bizarre things, that I almost don't even think about them anymore. . . but they really freak my family/friends out. (One time I was telling my sweet Mom matter-of-factly about one of my patients, and she was teary-eyed before I even got to the climax of the incident, so I stopped mid-story!) But today was just such a classic Bipolar-day, and I can't help but vent a little. . .

I quickly introduced myself to a new patient at the beginning of my shift. A few hours later, I was called to the hall, where she was very agitated and pacing. She had been aggressive /combative with her staff and some other patients. When she saw me she yelled "What are YOU doing here?! You always make everything WORSE!" I literally turned around to see if there was someone standing behind me that she was talking to. . .there wasn't. (Well, It's nice to meet you too, I thought!)

Then. . . I got a cute card from a 14 year old patient that said "Stefanie, Thank you for helping me through my treatment."

Then. . . I was doing vital signs and realized the one of my patients had lost over 10 pounds in one week. When I did some prying, she admitted that she had been starving herself, and throwing up. I talked to her for a while about how unhealthy it is for her not to eat. I told her that I could get her set up with the dietician, if she wanted to talk about losing weight the right way. I eventually talked her into getting a meal tray at dinner (which she had refused for the last 4 days.) When I checked in on her, she was actually eating it, and I was so relieved!

Then. . . about 30 minutes later I was called to the unit again, where I found this same patient shoving her glasses (yes, her EYE GLASSES) down her throat and vomiting all of her dinner up, all over the floor. . .