I Don't Want This Anymore

The other day, Rowen woke up early and came into my room to lay by me. I thought he was falling asleep, when suddenly he popped his binky (I know) out of his mouth and said: "I don't want this anymore." I was a little confused, I asked him if he didn't want it right now, or if he didn't want it at all anymore. He said "Nope, I don't want it anymore!"
I said, "Okay, if you don't want it anymore, do you want to go throw it in the garbage?"
He said, "Yep, I'll throw it in the garbage!" and he hopped up and did it!
Really?!
I had been dreading and putting off that moment for WAY TOO LONG! I didn't know it could be so easy! (I won't mention the fact that when it was time for bed- he changed his mind and asked Makaylee to go get it out of the garbage and wash it for him - and became a little teary when I told him that 'the garbage man already took it to the dump.') But still. . .I am so proud, and I can't believe how grown up he is becoming!

Bipolar. . .

Is it possible to love and hate what you do at the same time? I think it is. . . when you are working with Bipolar youth at least. I don't talk about my job much, for a lot of reasons. One reason is that I am just so used to bizarre things, that I almost don't even think about them anymore. . . but they really freak my family/friends out. (One time I was telling my sweet Mom matter-of-factly about one of my patients, and she was teary-eyed before I even got to the climax of the incident, so I stopped mid-story!) But today was just such a classic Bipolar-day, and I can't help but vent a little. . .

I quickly introduced myself to a new patient at the beginning of my shift. A few hours later, I was called to the hall, where she was very agitated and pacing. She had been aggressive /combative with her staff and some other patients. When she saw me she yelled "What are YOU doing here?! You always make everything WORSE!" I literally turned around to see if there was someone standing behind me that she was talking to. . .there wasn't. (Well, It's nice to meet you too, I thought!)

Then. . . I got a cute card from a 14 year old patient that said "Stefanie, Thank you for helping me through my treatment."

Then. . . I was doing vital signs and realized the one of my patients had lost over 10 pounds in one week. When I did some prying, she admitted that she had been starving herself, and throwing up. I talked to her for a while about how unhealthy it is for her not to eat. I told her that I could get her set up with the dietician, if she wanted to talk about losing weight the right way. I eventually talked her into getting a meal tray at dinner (which she had refused for the last 4 days.) When I checked in on her, she was actually eating it, and I was so relieved!

Then. . . about 30 minutes later I was called to the unit again, where I found this same patient shoving her glasses (yes, her EYE GLASSES) down her throat and vomiting all of her dinner up, all over the floor. . .