The Hardest Day of My Life. . .

It started out like any other day, except that when Rowen woke up he was wheezing a little. I thought it was strange, so I brought him into his pediatrician. He wasn't very worried about it, but he gave Rowen a breathing treatment (that he screamed the whole way through) and sent us home with an inhaler. But, Rowen's breathing got worse throughout the day, until about 9:00 PM when I realized how serious it had become. I hurried him to the the instacare by our house where the Dr. confirmed my concerns. She said, "I'm sorry, but he needs to go to Primary Children's ER, I have called an ambulance and it is on it's way!"

Seeing my baby in an ambulance was about the saddest thing I have ever seen! (And something I never want to see again!) When we got to the ER he was given more breathing treatments and a lung X-ray. They kind of got his breathing and oxygen levels under control but his heart rate was through the roof (220 bpm) so they did a blood test and an EKG. It was about 3:30 in the morning when they told me that we were being admitted for the night. Every time someone new would walk into the room Rowen would start to cry and cling to me. They would do something to him like poke him, or suction him, and he would cry, and flail, and scream, and look at me like "Why aren't you saving me? Why are you letting these people hurt me?!" It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I felt the kind of worry that you learn only after you've become a mother. The kind that crumples you to the bed, and literally makes your heart hurt.

Luckily, my sweet sister and parents took turns watching Makaylee for us so that Terry could come up to help support us. I called my Dad in the morning and asked him if he would come give Rowen a blessing with Terry. After the blessing he steadily got better! First the oxygen came off, then his heart rate slowed, and then he finally started to be his silly, goofy, precious self. He would even say "Hi" to the nurses that came in to "torture" him, and then he would wave "bye" to them when they left!

We finally discharged at about 8:00PM last night. They told us that it was probably a virus that had just targeted his lungs and heart. Rowen is doing much better today, he's just had to use his inhaler a few times. He is still not eating or drinking well, but that is not really new! I am so thankful to have him home, and be able to hold him without 5 tubes and cords attached to him! And I am so thankful for the priesthood and the power of blessings!